Most people have heard of Walmart. Some people I know refuse to shop there; others have even gained internet fame for odd antics in-store. One undeniable fact is Walmart stocks an enormous variety of goods at sometimes shockingly low prices.
On my first visits I was struck by the scale — Australia has nothing quite like it — but before long my attention narrowed to the quirky and often bewildering food products. Many Americans are desensitized to the extremes of packaged food, but as a foreign visitor I found the offerings both fascinating and a little grotesque. With help from my friend Carrie, here’s a look at some of the most memorable items I encountered on a Walmart food run.
Bulk Products
Take these packs of hash browns: ten patties per pack at 99 cents each. Whether they’re mostly potato or mechanically processed mash, the point is clear — buying in bulk here can feel absurdly cheap. For under a dollar per pack, you could seriously build a hedge of hash browns.
Or consider giant boxes of cereal. Unless you’re feeding a large family or filling a novelty swimming pool with Lucky Charms, these sizes are over the top. The sheer scale makes you wonder who actually finishes a container that big before it goes stale.
Squeezable Products
One of my guilty-pleasure favorites was Parkay in a squeeze bottle. Technically the label avoids the word “butter,” but functionally it acts as a spreadable, squeezable fat. I’ve seen it used to baste pie slices at diners, and there’s something undeniably silly about being able to draw smiley faces on toast with it.
Squeezable cheese appears next — shelf-stable, unrefrigerated, and unnervingly convenient. We’ve seen aerosolized cheese before, but squeeze tubes take convenience to another level. For those embracing kitsch, single-serve pumps like gas-station nacho bars would be the logical next step.
Then there’s ready-made Oreo frosting in a tube — a product you might only eat straight from the pack after one too many drinks. It’s a clearly engineered indulgence: mostly corn derivatives, oils, and a list of chemical-sounding ingredients. That said, the idea of slathering it onto a hash brown is absurd enough to be tempting.
Superfluous Food Accessories
Walmart also sells an array of novelty accessories. One standout: a Pop-Tart storage case. If you’ve ever needed a dedicated container to carry toaster pastries for on-the-go snacking, now you can accessorize accordingly. Whether this elevates your bag’s elegance is debatable, but it certainly solves a first-world problem with flair.
Foods That Probably Shouldn’t Exist
Some inventions push the boundaries of taste and plausibility. Consider starch-and-meat combinations on a stick marketed as breakfast novelty items. The concept—savory breakfast paired with syrup and convenient presentation—has merit, but the execution often falls flat. A product that seems designed to be thawed, flattened, and skewered raises questions about texture and flavor, and who thought individually packaged versions were a good idea?
Many boxed cereals and instant breakfasts are presented on packaging with highly retouched images, promising an appetizing bowl that reality rarely matches. If heavy Photoshop is required to make the product look appealing, the actual experience is often disappointing.
And finally, an item that’s not food but deserves mention for sheer incongruity: roadside memorial markers tossed into an “everyday low prices” aisle. Seeing such a thing amid disposable goods is jarring — a reminder of the odd mix of items one can encounter in such a vast retail environment.
In short, Walmart is a fascinating place for anyone interested in food culture. From bulk bargains to bizarre novelty items and squeezable condiments, the store offers a window into a culture of convenience and excess. Whether you’re bemused, appalled, or eager to try everything, a trip down the grocery aisles is never dull.